Child Abuse: Is It A Surprise That Some Parents Deny They Were Abusive?

If someone comes to see that their early years were a time when they were not treated very well, there are a number of things that can take place. Firstly, they can start to think about what they can do to heal the damage that was caused, and, secondly, they can have the need to talk about what took place with their parents. There is also the chance that they haven’t even thought about what they can do to heal themselves.

In this case, their need to talk to their parents about what happened could consume them. The next step what one could then do is to approach their parents out of the blue and ask them about why they treated them in a certain way, for instance. Therefore, without them even needing to say anything, one will know that they are going to be able to make progress.

This can then provide one will the validation that they need to gradually heal themselves. What something like this would do is allow one to work through things in an environment that is conducive to growth and healing. No short cuts now, just because their parents have acknowledged what took place and validated what one went through as a child, it doesn’t mean that their life will change overnight.

However, it will most likely allow them to move forward a lot faster than if their parents were unable to face up to what took place. Their parents won’t have been able to truly be there for them all those years ago, but now they will have the chance to do the right thing. A long journey is in front of all of them, but the foundations will have been laid.

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Another experience while the scenario above, or one that is very similar, could be seen as the ideal, it is not something that always takes place. Instead, one can talk to their parents about what took place and they could basically be told that what they are saying has no basis in reality. Upon hearing this, a number of things could take place.

One could then approach their parents again and talk about what is going on for them, only to receive the same response. It then wouldn’t even matter if one ended up getting a brain scan that proved that they had experienced a lot of trauma, as their parent’s won’t be able to accept what they are saying. In order for one to make sense of what is going on, it will be essential for them to change how they view their parents.

What this means is that just because they came through them – providing them with a vehicle (body) that would allow them to experience life on earth – it doesn’t mean that their parents are perfect human beings. There is the chance that what they put one through as a child was very similar to what they went through at the hands of their own parents. The big one if they were to admit to what they put one through as a child, it could end up reminding them of what they went through as a child.

Facing the pain of their early abuse and the pain of abusing their own child would then be too much for them to handle. So, as way for them to keep this pain locked in their body and out of their conscious awareness, they will use denial to protect themselves. But, due to how long they have relied on this defence mechanism, it will most likely have become part of their character.

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Effortless it is then not that they are aware of what took place and are consciously denying it; it is that they are no longer aware of it and there is then nothing for them to deny. Ultimately, they will have forgotten that they have forgotten. This is why one can have all the evidence under the sun that proves that they are telling the truth, but it won’t make any difference.

Their parents, out of their need to avoid their own pain, will need to stay out of touch with reality and their own body. With the assistance of a therapist or healer, for instance, one can start to move forward and gradually lose the need to receive their parent’s validation. This takes patience, persistence and a lot of courage.

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