Just because someone looks whole on the outside, it doesn’t mean that they feel whole on the inside. How they look is then going to have very little to do with how they actually experience life. Based on how they experience life, it will be as though they are missing something.
As a result of this, they can spend a lot of time looking for a way to change how they feel. A bleak existence nonetheless, this doesn’t mean that they will have a good connection with their feelings. When they are unable to, they could end up feeling numb and as though they are disconnected from everyone and everything.
Having this experience is likely to be anything but pleasant. Hooked one thing that they could do to try to bring themselves back to life is to drink or take something. Then again, they could engage in something that will give them an inner boost.
Dependent if they don’t engage in something to change their inner world, their life could be unbearable. If their inner world was in a good place, they probably wouldn’t need to be hooked on anything like this. Irrespective of whether this person treats them badly or not, one might believe that they can’t live without them.
So instead of seeing their partner as a separate being, they could see them as another part of them. This is not to say that this is something that will go through their mind, as it could be something that is out of their conscious awareness. One half is missing if they are single, they could have a strong need to be with someone.
One might not care what someone is like as their main priority will be to avoid being by themselves. In the same way that a drug or an activity, for instance, will push their pain down and bring them to life, another person will serve the same purpose. Too much due to the fact that they are unable to enjoy their own company, it might be a challenge for them to leave a relationship that is not healthy.
Putting up with abusive behaviour can be seen as being far better than the alternative – being on their own pain. Another thing that they could do is have one casual encounter after another, with this being another way to make them feel alive. This is likely to be the reason why they feel empty and as though something is missing or are overwhelmed with emotional pain.
What’s going on? what this is likely to show is that they didn’t receive the kind of care that they needed during their early years in order to develop in the right way. This could have been a time when they had to fulfil their caregiver/s needs. As they were neglected, it would have meant that their developmental needs were overlooked and the pain of not having their needs met would have overwhelmed their system, setting them up to live on the surface of themselves.
The outcome thanks to what took place, one wouldn’t have been able to develop a sense of self. They are only going to have two options in life: to avoid how they feel and feel empty or to embrace how they feel and end up being overwhelmed with pain. On the inside, one will look like an adult, but on the inside, they will feel like an abandoned child.
To the emotional part of their being, it won’t matter how many years have passed. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer. For them to emotionally grow up and to develop a sense of self, they will most likely need to work through the emotional wounds that are within them.
One part of this will be for them to grieve their unmet childhood needs.