When you’re trying to influence people who need the motivation to change, and ignore you for prying into their personal lives, then stop. You can do nothing about it. The problem with reminding people of facts they already know is that it feels patronizing or controlling.
People’s natural response is to resist and exert their independence. We resist change. Committing ourselves to a small change, even one that is unmistakably in our best interest, is often more frightening than ignoring a dangerous situation.
We are vehemently faithful to our own view of the world, our story. We want to know what new story we’re stepping into before we exit the old one. We don’t want an exit if we don’t know exactly where it is going to take us, even in cases of an emergency.
Many people are unsuccessful when they try to change their own behavior. People are creatures of habit, and habits evolve over time. They become so deep-seated and instinctive that people are often oblivious to the behaviors and consequences that their habits drive.
It is therefore very hard to change old habits even when they’re bad. They discover that habits are persistent and necessitate many consistently. Even when they are motivated enough to change, long-lasting change entails much commitment, consistency, and discipline.
Most people are unhappy with some areas of their life but are not unhappy enough to actually do something about it. Many people change from their own accord. Nevertheless, very few people change from within-deliberately, willingly, and on purpose.
Even if our concerns are sincere and our attempts to change others are genuine, we often fail to bring about real behavioral change because people don’t change until they think they need to. So, don’t try to change people when they don’t want. Harboring expectations of being able to change can only lead to frustration and futility.
Therefore, lower your expectations of people, accept them as they are, and be happy with yourself. Although, it’s good to be an advocate of change, never expect all people to do what you want. It will only lead to more frustrations and disappointments not only with them but also with yourself for not making a difference in their lives.